The things we can forgive
by miriamsantacruz
Summary: This story is set during the romantic weekend that Vincent and Alex spent together in the woods. While they were enjoying their meeting, Catherine is taken by Muirfield. She's tortured. Disclaimer: Usual stuff, Beauty and the Beast is a property of the CW.
1. So this is death

Catherine was quite disappointed when Vincent told her that he was going with Alex to her parents' romantic cabin in the woods. For the first time in their relationship she was ready to risk everything to be with Vincent. Maybe she should have told him before. May be she should have said that he was the first man she had been in love with in all her life, but now Alex was here and she could compete with her. She was beautiful and intelligent and both she and Vincent had planned their whole life together since they were children, who could compete with that?

She took a shower after her daily running in the park and went to the precint to go on with her work, even when she only wanted to go into her bed and cover with her blankets until her mind stopped betraying her with images of Vincent and Alex together. God, she felt so jealous!

The feared weekend arrived and JT told her that Vincent had finally gone on his romantic trip with her ex-fiancé. Catherine had gone to try and stop him in the very last moment but it was too late. They had already gone and they will be completely isolated until Sunday evening, when they would finally come back to the city.

She was not too far from the warehouse when two men got off from a car and didn't even give her the chance to defend herself, stabbing her in the neck with a syringe full of sedatives. They took her into the van and got lost in the cold night.

In the cabin, Vincent was lighting the fire while Alex was cooking something for dinner and was lighting some candles. She set the table and both started to eat in front of the fireplace. Alex had opened a bottle of their favourite red wine but Vincent told her that he didn't drink anymore, so she went to the kitchen and brought him a glass of water. Vincent was thinking how to tell her about everything that had happened to him since he went to Afghanistan, but he just didn't know where to start. She was sure he was suffering from some kind of PTSD and he had left her believe it because he couldn't find the strength to tell her the truth: that he was now a monster, that he had nothing to do with the boy she had shared her first years with. He didn't say a word for a long while as he was starting to think that it had been a mistake to come here. He wasn't in love with Alex anymore. He was trying to convince himself that he was and that he could start a fresh new life in any other country with her, open their own clinic and help people in need, but he was missing Catherine so much. He was now watching her face as she told him that she didn't want to lose him and that she was ready to fight for him. He was feeling like a real ass. Alex took him out of his thoughts with a kiss on his face:

-What are you thinking, honey? You're too quiet.

-I'm sorry. I was just trying to remember the last time we were here together. It is exactly as I remembered it.

-Yes. It's a pity no one comes here. We are all too busy. Tell me Vincent, are you still ready to leave your life forever and come with me?

Vincent felt a lump in his throat. No. He wasn't ready and he knew but he couldn't say it to this woman that had been mourning him for ten years. For Alex, Vincent was a miracle, was the existing evidence that God existed because He had brought him back to her after so long. She didn't deserve being rejected.

Alex was looking so intensely at him that he felt a bit ashamed, not knowing what to say or do. She came closer to him and kissed him in his lips. At first he didn't react, but she insisted and he finally kissed her back.

-Vincent! – She said – It has been so long. I have missed you so much. God, when they told me you were dead I just wanted to be with you even if I had to die for it. But I was a coward and I went on living even if I didn't want to.

-It's OK, Alex. I'm here now. I'm not going to leave you again. – He found out he was lying in the very moment these words left his lips, but he didn't know what else to say. – Alex, I have to talk to you. I am not the same man you knew.

-I know that you've suffered a lot, but we will overcome anything together. You'll see. Can you imagine yourself without having to hide, working in our clinic, helping people…This was our dream, remember?

Here she goes again, thought Vincent. And she was right. There was nothing in the world he wanted more than the new life she was offering. Being free from Muirfield and practicing medicine again, which was what he loved most. Alex held him tight and kissed him again. Vincent kissed her back but in a quick way, just to be left alone.

In NY, Catherine woke up in a small room with a huge mirror on one of the walls. She was wearing some kind of hospital robe. She looked around trying to find out where she was, but the room was so white and empty, with just that small bed she was now sat on, that she felt scared. She remembered being attacked by someone, but she couldn't see anything or anyone.

She was feeling very cold now, and got up to come closer to the mirror and tried to see anyone in the other side. She knew it was impossible, but she had to do something. Suddenly a door opened and a man she didn't know entered the small room.

-Detective Chandler, glad you're up. – said the man looking at her.

Catherine stepped backwards.

-There are two ways of doing this. - The man continued- You tell us where Vincent Keller is and you will go home or you don't tell us and we will torture you until you give in.

-I don't know what you're talking about. – Said Catherine looking at the man straight in the eye.

-Come on! Don't make it more difficult. You know you will eventually talk. Everybody does. It's not fun torturing a beautiful girl like you. So?

Catherine looked at him again and repeated:

-I said I don't know who you're talking about and you'll be in a big problem when the police learn about you: kidnapping and torturing a law agent is not a nice background.

Catherine was trying to convince the man that the best thing he could do was letting her go, although she knew that this was a useless effort. She knew what they could do. They would torture her and finally kill her and nobody would never know where she was.

-OK, detective. You don't leave me a choice.

The man left the room and when the door opened again two men in white robes entered. They tried to take Catherine was she was not going to surrender easily. She fought as strongly as she could, kicking and bumping. She got some bruises and cuts and a black eye in the fight but she was finally taken and sedated to be carried out to a different room.

After a couple of hours, she opened her eyes again.

-So I am still alive – She said to the two men in the white gown whose faces she couldn't see because they were wearing a white hospital mask too. They didn't talk. She looked around and saw she was completely tied to the bed and two different bottles were on each side of it. She could see the vials connected to her arms and thought that she was completely lost. No one knew about where she was, and the only person in the world who was always taking care of her was so far and immerse in his own newly-recovered relationship that he wouldn't even mind what happened to her. She knew this was not true. Vincent cared about her. She felt so sad when she remembered his beautiful face. She wouldn't give in. If this was the day she would have to die, she would, but she would never give Vincent in.

-Ok, miss Chandler. Here goes your last chance to speak. Where is Vincent Keller? – asked the man that had been into her room before, coming out from one of the corners of the room.

She didn't answer. On his signal, one of the vials was opened and the fluid started to run into her veins. She began to shake uncontrollably. Her brain was trying to leave her skull and her eyes wanted to leave their orbits. She felt a pain she couldn't compare with anything she had felt before, as if someone was stabbing her and breaking her every bone one by one. After a few seconds, the fluid from the other vial was opened and she calmed down again. The man looked at her again:

-Now you know I'm not kidding. Do you really want to feel that pain again, for hours, just to protect whom, a monster?

She didn't answer as she couldn't speak. Her sight was blurred and her mouth was dry. The first vial was opened again.

-Be careful – said the man to the other two – I don't want her dead. May be his friend will come to rescue her.

Catherine said breathing tortuously:

-He won't. He doesn't know where I am, and there's no way he could know.

-So you actually know who we are talking about, don't you? Miss Chandler, I'm going to leave the room now. Everything is being recorded, so I'll be back when you have finally let the cat out of the bag and you're dead. My pleasure.

The terrible pain she had felt before started again. One of Catherine's eyes became totally red and blood was running down from her nose to her lips. Definitely this was the day she'd die. If she could think she would think about her dad and sister, about Tess and Evan and about Vincent, but she couldn't think. She was shaking, sweating, bleeding and losing her life feeling that terrible pain.

In the cabin, Alex was lying on the couch and Vincent had his head on her stomach. He was feeling so good, so strangely confident with that woman that he couldn't believe it. She kissed him more intently this time and he couldn't help but kissed her back. He was feeling terribly excited and at the same time he was so afraid the beast would come up and hurt his Catherine. It took him so long to be here with her, with Catherine, alone in the woods, having dinner and enjoying her company. Because he was sure she was Catherine, the woman he was in love with. And he felt more and more confident when their kisses deepened and their tongues fought and the adrenaline was OK. He knew this could only happen with her. He was sure he wouldn't hurt her. Never

-Listen, Catherine. I've not done this for a long time. I'm not sure I can do it.

She was kissing him on his face, then on his neck, and she simply whispered completely turned on:

-Don't worry, babe. Let's give it a try.

He kissed her as he had never kissed anyone for ten years, with a hunger in his eyes that told her that she had won this battle too. He caressed her face, her neck and her beautiful body with one hand while he undressed her with the other. She got rid of her shirt and was now trying to do the same with his trousers as he was smelling her scent, one which was not familiar to him, but who cares? Cat was here for him, and was growing him completely mad. He looked into her eyes, breathing with difficulty due to these sensations he was feeling again. She definitely knew how to turn him on. She had known him for years, she had been his first love and knew what she had to do to make him lose control. She was now up and kissing his every corner, going slowly down his already naked body and leaving a wet trace on her way. Desire was burning in her eyes when she finally reached his length and licked it before putting it into her mouth. Vincent thought he would go completely mad at the sensation. Ten years without a woman is a long time. He had been scared his adrenaline would kick in and betray him but it wasn't happening… and this made him even wilder. His beautiful petit brunette was riding him now, s he had imagined she would in so many sleepless nights, while he was holding her by her waist and he felt so good he couldn't believe it. He sat and looked at her in the eye:

-Calm down, babe, it's been so long…I want to enjoy it…- he said breathlessly.

-We will have the whole weekend for slowly, I want to feel your wetness inside me. Give it to me, Vincent.

Vincent rolled them until she was under him, with her back on the bed. He was burning with desire. He couldn't think, just feel these almost new sensations he had been lacking for such a long time. She smelt so good, and she moved so right…she moved her hips up when he entered her completely to meet him and he started to thrust. She moaned from somewhere down her throat at the pleasure of feeling him so hard inside. They kissed with their open mouths and licked, their tongues completely undone. Vincent went out of her and started to lick her nipples while she arched searching for his mouth, offering him her whole body. He moved to her other nipple and she was going crazy. He knew that after such a long time he wouldn't last much and felt really happy when he heard her repeating his name and shaking around him as she felt her orgasm

-Vincent!- she screamed.

-Catherine! Oh God, Catherine! - He cried finally filling her with his orgasm.

Alex didn't know what to expect, and he was surprised when she heard the handler's name. So, that was the problem. His Vincent was secretely in love with his handler. Never mind. She had just made him hers again. She was afraid when everything started, but it finally was faster than she expected. And there he was, his Vincent, the man of her life, snuggling with her, touching her hair, and hiding his nose in it before falling asleep.

At Muirfield's headquarters things had turned very difficult for Catherine. She didn't talk and whatever they were throwing into her body was harming her brain in a way that she didn't to her captors' last intent of reanimation. She was feeling calm and soft, as if she were floating, and she didn't want to come back. The only thing she could distinguish from wherever she was now was the voice of one of the men:

-I told you not to kill her! She'd be of no help if she's dead. Get rid of the body.

So that was death. She was dead. That should be the feeling of being so light and quiet she was now experiencing. She felt her body being moved and then she felt it being thrown away on the road. And then nothing. That was it. No farewells, no kisses…She would never see any of those she loved again…she would never see her father, Heather…or Vincent again. That was it.


	2. Blind love

When Vincent woke up in the morning and opened his eyes, he foung out Alex's red hair in front of his eyes. He jumped and sat on the bed.

-What happens, honey? What's the matter?

-Oh, God. Alex...Did we...?

-Calm down, darling.- She said while cuddling him- We did, and it was soooo good. I love you, Vincent.

He didn't say anything as he didn't know what to say. Everything was so blurry in his mind right now. Where was Catherine? What had happened?

When he came into the warehouse, JT was waiting for him. He didn't want to hurt him but he knew he would have to tell him that Catherine had disappeared two days ago and that no one had been able to find her. JT was not very good at hiding his feelings, so when Vincent came into the room, he noticed that something was wrong. However, his friend simply said:

-You have a disgusting face. That tells a lot.

-JT- Vincent said noticing his friend's sarcastic tone of voice.

-You couldn't? Could you?

-JT! – exclaimed Vincent really annoyed at his questions.

-OK, OK…just wondering…you look different from last Friday…Now, the thing is…I have some bad news for you…

-What's wrong? – Vincent asked.

-It's Catherine.

That was something Vincent knew he wouldn't want to hear. He knew something would be wrong with Catherine during his absence, and when he made love with Alex he knew that he would have to pay for this huge mistake.

-What is it, JT? – He asked his friend rather impatiently.

-Well, I don't know. Evan told me they haven't known anything about her since Friday. May be she decided to spend the weekend away…I had the illusion she came after you, but now I see she didn't…Never mind, she's an adult.

-Have you tried phoning her?

-She wouldn't answer. Everyone at the precint is starting to worry.

Vincent ran to the streets not even listening to JT's screams. He had to find Catherine. She was not the kind of girl who would go away for the weekend without telling anyone, especially that weekend he knew he had broken her heart. He went on the rooftops trying to identify Catherine's scent from among the crowd. He ran and ran till he found himself out of the city in one of the worst suburbs. Then he smelt her. It had to be her. He ran towards a body that was on the floor around a corner, so cold and steady that he prayed it wasn't her. But it was. When he knelt down and put his ear on her chest he noticed she was hardly breathing. He called an ambulance and held her in his arms cradling her softly while caressing her lovely face and her messy hair. One of her eyes was swallowed and bruised, as her lips were. Her face was covered by dry blood from her nose and her neck had also dry blood from her ears. She didn't move, but she was breathing. And the only thing he could do for her was being here. He hid her face in the crook of his neck and cried like he had wanted to since last Friday. Somehow he had the feeling that he was doing everything wrong when he talked to her and decided to go to the woods with Alex. He didn't even want to recall those images. If Catherine died, it would be only his fault. He heard the sirens of the ambulance and carefully put her head on the floor and kissed her forehead: "I'll be with you, Catherine. I won't leave you alone", he said while wiping away his tears with the back of his hands. He hid himself in the dark on the narrow alley and saw how his Catherine was being placed inside the ambulance and minutes later the vehicle lost in the dark. Vincent went up to the roofs again and followed the ambulance until it reached the NY General.

In less than half an hour, Catherine's dad, sister and friends arrived at the hospital. Joe, Tess and Evan came together in Evan's car. Vincent had called anonymously to the precint to tell that detective Chandler had been found severely injured in the streets and had been taken to the hospital. Evan was the first to enter the building, almost running and breathing hoarsely due to worrying and exhaustion. Vincent couldn't come closer as the whole building was being surrounded by the police. He knew he couldn't see Catherine tonight, until all her friends and family left the place after making sure she would be OK. He went back to the warehouse with a lump in his throat which almost kept him from breathing. JT was on the couch watching TV and waiting for his friend to come back with news about Catherine. He got up as soon as he saw Vincent:

-Did you find her? – He asked worried.

-Yes. Someone has tortured her and thrown her away like rubbish - Vincent said, his eyes turning yellow in anger.

-OK, calm down man. I don't wanna have one of your beastly episodes now and Catherine needs you calm, OK? Breath, Vincent.

He threw himself on the couch and took a deep breath closing his eyes trying to calm himself down. When he felt better he went on talking:

-I know whose methods are these. It's Muirfield. They found her.

-If Murfield found Catherine…they would want to know about you…that's why they tortured her – JT stopped for a second and then went on – Obviously she didn't tell anything. We're still here.

-JT, I should have stayed here, I shouldn't have listened to her when she told me to go with Alex.

-Seriously dude? You really think she wanted you to go with Alex? – JT's tone was very angry, and Vincent was looking at him completely lost. – She didn't want you to go, but it wasn't her choice. It was yours!

-But she said…

-Come on, Vincent. You can't be so naïve! You told her Alex wanted to run away with you, you told her she was your first love, the only woman you had ever loved. You told her that you would be free somewhere far and would be a doctor again…How do you think she would be able to stop you? She loves you. She would do anything to make you happy, even if it meant going away from you.

The truth coming from his friend's lips was beating Vincent's heart. Deep inside him he had always known that but it was easier not to think.

In the hospital everyone had gone home except Catherine's father, who was still sitting by her daughter's bed, caressing her face. He was now relieved because she'd been found and because the doctors had told him that everything seemed to be all right, that she just had to recover from the bruises. They had taken some blood samples to analyze and had run different tests on her. The real problem was that her brain was swollen due to something unknown that must have been put into her blood through the different holes she had in her arms. They had to wait for her to wake up to find out the real damage they had done to her. Vincent was out in the fire escape waiting for a chance to enter Catherine's room and take a look at her diagnosis and treatment. When her father finally went out to look for a coffee he entered and came closer to her bed. She didn't look any better than before, but she was clean and she didn't look like she was suffering. He had a look at the documents by the bed and read about the swollen brain and the strange fluid that she had been given. Something unknown that had caused her brain problem and that they didn't have the tech no identify. Vincent looked again at her face. She seemed to be sleeping quietly and he didn't want to be found in there, so he kissed her forehead again, as he had done when he found her, and went away.

-How is she? – JT asked as soon as Vincent entered the warehouse.

-I think she'd be fine.

-Did she see you?

-She wasn't even awake.

-And why do you have that look on your face?

-What look?

-Like if you had been caught doing something wrong.

-I did, JT, I did.

-Care to share?

-Alex and I made love.

JT's face couldn't have shown his real feelings. He knew that this wasn't the first time Vincent had been trying to be with a woman in these years, but he never did because adrenaline was too strong and he was afraid to hurt them.

-So…you two are together now?

-No, JT. I am not in love with Alex.

-Your ability to let me speechless is unparalleled, Vincent.

-I thought I was with Catherine! I don't know what happened to me!

-What the hell are you talking about?

-I was sure I had been with Catherine...and I woke up in the morning and found Alex sleeping by my side...I...I have no words...

-Now she's texting me and asking me to meet…and JT, honestly, I don't know what to do. I don't want to be with her.

-Let me tell you something: I don't trust Alex. Don't you think it is a bit strange what you have just told me?

Vincent couldn't think clearly, his mind was still a mess, a mixture of blurry images.

-But…Catherine…she'll never forgive me. How could I be such an ass?

-I'd swear Catherine will forgive you anything. Tell her the truth. She'll understand. And if I were you, I'd have some sleep. You look horrible.

The following day Vincent went early to the fire escape of the hospital and waited there to see how Catherine was doing. He was not the first to arrive, though. Evan was standing next to her bed, holding her hand into his and looking miserable. He took her hand to his lips and kissed her every knuckle.

-Catherine, wake up. There's no reason you shouldn't. I need to know that you're fine.

Suddenly, she murmured something, and Evan bent down to try and identify what she was saying.

-Vincent…- she muttered.

-It's Evan – he whispered to her ear. – Come on, Cat, open your eyes for me, please.

Vincent was listening outside and his heart jumped when he heard his name coming from her lips. But he couldn't be there, he had to allow Evan be what he needed to be now, Catherine's support. Suddenly, he heard her crying:

-Evan I can't see you… I can't see you – Catherine was shouting.

He came closer to look inside the room and saw Evan holding Catherine into his arms:

-Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm going to call the doctors, OK? Calm down, please, calm down. – He said while he was caressing her hair.


	3. The right man

Vincent was waiting outside in horror, feeling an almost physical pain when he heard that doctors had expected something like this to happen because of her swollen brain. But she was getting better and they thought that her blindness would disappear when her brain went back to normal. All of them breathed in relieve. When everyone had left the room, Vincent could hear Tess talking to her friend:

-I'm so happy you're finally awake, Cat. How are you feeling?

-Like if I had been thrown from a 5th floor.

Tess frowned at the thought, she didn't know what they had done to her friend and partner, but they had thrown her away. She knew that.

-Do you remember anything? Did you see anyone?

Catherine lied because she couldn't tell about Muirfield. She had gone through a lot to protect Vincent and she wasn't going to risk him now.

-No. I just remember I was walking to work and then I woke up here.

However, Vincent could notice that she was lying. She remembered everything and he knew she would never talk about it. Tess kissed Cat goodbye to let her rest and told her that the doctors were really optimistic as she was reacting to the treatment. When she finally left the room, Vincent thought that he had to see her, to touch her, to let her know that he was here for her, but he simply didn't have the chance as Evan entered again with two cups of coffee.

-Here, sweetheart – he said putting the cup into her hands carefully and looking at her in the eye. She couldn't see him, and things were going to turn a bit difficult until she was able to see again. He was ready to stay with her till she was totally fine. – Drink some coffee, it'll do you good. It tastes like rubbish but I thought you'd love a coffee.

-Thank you, Evan. Where's my sister?

-She had to work, but she will be here by afternoon. Got a surprise for you: the doctors thought there's no reason why you couldn't follow your treatment at home…if everything goes as expected today.

Catherine smiled widely. There was nothing else she wanted more than being home again. In fact, there was something she wanted more, she thought, she'd love to see Vincent. He hadn't shown up and she was upset. She thought that now that he was trying to recover his life with Alex, she would have to get used to not seeing him so often, and this thought made her eyes get wet. Evan noticed:

-Cat, are you crying? Do you feel bad?

-No, Evan, thank you – she said trying to find his face with her hands and finally cupping it. –I'm so glad you are here, I don't know what I would do without you.

He kissed her cheek and added:

-Cat, I'll be always here for you, you know.

-I do, Evan, I do.

In the fire escape, Vincent eyes were amber in jealousy but he managed to calm down because he knew that Evan was the best option for Catherine now. He was a doctor, and he loved her, so he was the perfect man to care for Catherine until she finally recovered. He knew it was him who should be with her, but he had not many choices as she was always surrounded by her family and friends. He was suffering so much not being able to touch her and to talk to her… He saw Catherine and Evan leaving the hospital in the afternoon. She was holding his arm and he was doing his best guiding both of them to a taxi. Vincent thought he was the one who should be with her, helping and supporting her, and she didn't even know that he was around. Maybe this was the best thing that had happened in her life so that she could finally be with a real man, not with a selfish monster.

At night and from Catherine's fire escape where they had spent so many nice moments talking and falling in love with each other, he witnessed quietly how Evan came in Catherine's living room with flowers and something to drink, ready to spend some time with her and help her until she could see again:

-Evan, you didn't have to…

-I know I didn't have to, but I'm not leaving you here alone. You'll destroy all your lovely furniture – he chuckled.

-Nice try, Evan. But this is the only place where I won't stumble…

-Got something to drink and a movie. You can listen to it as if it were one of those radio-dramas.

-You're sooo funny – she smirked. – I'm glad you came. Heather's working tonight.


	4. The cake you shouldn't have tried

They sat on the couch and Catherine lay down putting her feet on Evan's legs. From Vincent's standpoint they looked like one of those long-term couples that will be together forever, so comfortable and confident. In less than half an hour Catherine had fallen asleep. Evan took her carefully in his arms and carried her to bed leaving her on it ever so softly and went back to the couch to sleep. Vincent didn't want to go. He won't leave Catherine alone again. He simply lay his cheek on the railing and fell asleep too.

He was awakened by Catherine's screams:

-I don't know who that Vincent is! – She was almost crying – I don't know whom you're talking about!

Vincent almost jumped into the bedroom and lifted her from the bed holding her by her shoulders. He shook her carefully.

-Wake up, wake up, my love, it's a nightmare.

-Vincent! You're here! – She rested her head on his shoulder and surrounded him with her arms – I've missed you so much… - She was trembling and sweating.

He held her tight praying Evan not to enter the bedroom. Fortunately, he was heavily asleep and hadn't heard Catherine's screaming. For just one moment he felt the blessing of her touch and her scent and he felt again that deep hole in his stomach that had been there since he slept with Alex. Catherine felt that she didn't mind anything that could happen to her if it was for Vincent's safety. She loved him so much and had so many questions to ask that she focused on simply feeling his warmth and caresses.

-Not that I didn't want to be with you, Catherine, but it's has been impossible with so many people around you. I've missed you too- He said gently caressing her hair. He moved her to see her lovely face and frowned at the sight of her lost glance and the bruises. He will kill whoever did this to her. His eyes turned yellow in anger and she felt it. But the worst thing was that he knew it had been his fault and she didn't seem to care.

-What is it, Vincent?

-How are you? Do you perceive anything, any shadows or images?

-Not yet, doctor Keller- She chuckled. She suddenly remembered all the Alex business and frowned.

-What, Catherine?

-How is everything between you and Alex?

-Catherine, please…we will talk about it, but not now, OK? I need you to recover first. I'm not interested in Alex if this is what you want to know.

Catherine didn't know what to say. But she knew that something important had happened if he didn't want to talk about it in her state. She lay down again as Vincent looked at her beautiful eyes.

-So you were watching me all the time…- She finally said.

-Don't you dare doubt it. I found you. – He said looking deeply into her eyes. - Please stop doing that.

-Doing what?

-Making me feel so weak and vulnerable, making me find you almost dead on the road. I will eventually die from a heart attack. I can't lose you again, even if we are not together. I need to know you're Ok.

The words "Even if we are not together" were hammering Catherine's brain.

He heard some noise coming from the living room and ran to the fire escape. May be Evan was awakened by their chatting.

-Sleep, Catherine, I'm here with you. – He said kissing her cheek.

For the first time since all this happened to her, she felt safe. She loved the feeling of him being around all the time watching for her. No one made her feel so ever since she was a little girl and her father was her knight in shining armour. She had felt so warm in Vincent's arms, so safe, as she had never felt with Evan even if he didn't leave her side…It was a pity she couldn't see his beautiful face.

JT was still awake watching TV when Vincent came back to the warehouse.

-Been to Catherine's? – He asked noticing his friend worried face.

-Yes… JT, I feel so bad when I look at her. I don't know what I'm going to do when she finally recovers and I have to face her eyes….

-You know I'm not very good at giving advice, but let me tell you something. Have you ever tried not to feel so guilty about everything? You made a mistake, Ok, but believe me, man, it had to be so easy for Alex to manipulate you…

-Don't blame her. I knew perfectly what I was doing.

-Really? That's what you think? You've been hiding for ten years and your only contact with, let's say, the real world was me until Catherine appeared. If she had been different she could have taken so much advantage of your isolation. But she is a kind woman and she loves you so much. The other girls you tried to sleep with were, what, random girls you didn't have feelings for?

Vincent frowned not knowing where JT wanted to go with his words. JT noticed.

-I mean, you were like a boy in a mature woman's hands. She knows you very well and she knew perfectly what keys she had to press. And what about the fact you thought she was Cat? She might have given you some kind of drug, she's a nurse after all...That's it Vincent!, She drugged you!

Vincent would have laughed at the last words if he didn't feel so ashamed.

-I just took some water. I wasn't even able to eat. All I wanted was to run away from that cabin. – he answered. -I don't know of any drug that can make you see what is not there.

-You're talking about medical drugs. Not all drugs are of this type

He couldn't sleep. He knew that Catherine was safe with Evan and that she would sleep all night because she thought he was by her window. Suddenly his phone rang. He looked at the screen and saw Alex's name. He had no choice but to answer the call if he wanted to stop this.

-Alex, hi.

-Hi? I've trying to talk to you for ages – she said trying to sound kind. – How are you? I was so worried…

-I'm fine. It's Catherine.

-Your _handler_? – She emphasized.

-Well, she's not just my handler… She had… an accident.

She interrupted him:

-Oh, I'm sorry for her. After so long she must be a good friend…Anyway, when can we meet? Aren't you going to come back for more of the last weekend's cake? – She laughed trying to seduce him.

-Ummmm…listen…We have to talk, OK?

That was not the answer she expected. She had to make sure he will come to her.

-Are you Ok? Vincent, I won't stand losing you again you know that, don't you? – She was sounding so sad, almost desperate that he was speechless.

Vincent didn't answer for a while, until he just added:

-I'll phone you tomorrow.

-Bye, hon. (*)


	5. Harm done

Days went by and Catherine finally started to recover from her blindness.

The first day Catherine perceived an image, it was her sister's. She was coming out the bathroom when Cat was going to her room.

-Heather! I can…I can see you! – But the figure suddenly vanished in front of her eyes.

-Is it true? Can you see me? – Heather screamed surprised.

Catherine's gaze showed all her disappointment.

-I'd swear I've seen you, but it just…disappeared.

Heather hugged her:

-Don't worry, sis. It's more than you got when you got up this morning. I've been so worried about you. - They were both sat on Catherine's bed. – No just about whatever happened to you that made you this. You've been so closed to me, so silent, almost in another world. I hate when you do this.

-It's been hard, Heather. Very hard.

-I know, but you can count on me, I'm your sister. I want you to know you can count on all of us: dad, Evan, Tess, even Brooke was worried.

Catherine only wanted to forget everything and start to work as soon as possible, and the fact that she had seen her sister today was full of promises for her. She hugged her sister warmly:

-I know, Heath. Thank you. All of you.

The following night she was having some fresh air by the window in her bed-room, when she perceived a flash and saw the street below. It lasted a bit more that the view of her sister yesterday. She smiled to herself. So it was true, she was finally recovering her sight as doctors had always told her. Suddenly she saw Vincent for a while in her fire escape.

-Vincent! – She exclaimed – Is it you?

Vincent had arrived some minutes earlier and was just enjoying the scent and view of the woman he loved. He was almost shocked when she said his name. He came closer and Catherine asked him to come inside. He stood still with his back to the window now in the room, his hands in his pockets and smiling at the perspective of Catherine recovering her sight:

-Can you see me? – He asked overwhelmed by emotions and stepping towards her.

-Not now. Sorry. They are like flashes. I see something for some seconds and then it disappears.

-It's a good start. You'll recover completely very soon.

He was looking at her in awe. She was so beautiful…Fortunately her kidnapping seemed not to have left scars on her face, though the ones in her soul were a different matter. He couldn't even think about what they had done to her without his eyes flashing amber. Luckily he was in more control now and he relaxed in a while. She looked a bit sad.

-Are you Ok, Catherine?

-Yes… yes. I was just wondering when everything will be over. I want to go back to my job, to spend my days with Tess and have some beers with my friends at weekends. Everything has been so odd.

-It will be alright. You're so brave. You always amaze me.

She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to know about Alex so she didn't answer. She sat on her bed and Vincent sat by her side. She leaned her head on his shoulder and took a deep breath. The air she released talked louder than words. It told Vincent about how much she missed him, how much she had suffered and how many questions there were in her heart. He surrounded her with her arm and didn't say a word. Between fear and blame, he started to wonder how long he had before he sent him away when he told her about the weekend in the woods and Alex.

A few days later, Catherine recovered her sight completely. When doctors at hospital said that everything was over and that she could go back to her life, she was feeling so good and was so thankful that everything had ended that she could hardly believe it. She had learnt a lot from this experience in spite of the pain and angst. Her friends had helped her a lot when she needed them most, her father and her sister had been so kind and caring that she felt tears coming to her eyes now that she was recalling everything. They had finally stopped questioning her about what happened but she didn't really think they believed her amnesia story.

Vincent came into her house one morning after Heather had left for work. Catherine was in the kitchen enjoying a cup of coffee and thinking about the last days when she saw him walking into the dining-room.

-I heard you can see again- he said with a huge smile on his face.

-You heard right – she answered with a sweet smile too. She was so happy…

Vincent came closer and she got up to meet his eyes. If she wasn't angry with him, she would have told him how much she had missed those eyes and that beautiful smile of his. He wasn't smiling though, he looked like someone condemned to death.

-Catherine… it's time for us to talk about what happened in the woods. – He started shyly.

-Vincent, I don't want to know, OK?

-You have to know. You were almost killed and you never gave in, while I was spending a weekend with Alex. There is no easy way of saying this, and I know you will hate me but I can't lie to you. I slept with Alex. I don't know how it could happen, and all the time I thought it was you...

She felt a punch in her stomach. Catherine was not surprised though. She had expected it to happen. Who wouldn't lose control with his sexy red-haired ex-fiancé that was still deeply in love with him? She didn't say anything for a while, until she could manage to say:

-I feared it would happen, Vincent. I was hoping your feelings for me were stronger, but since we talked in the park that morning, and later, when I went to the warehouse to talk to you, I got the impression that I had lost you forever. I thought you should go with her to find out if you still loved her, you had to tell her your secret and give her the chance to decide whether she wanted to go away with you.

-I couldn't. I felt I had nothing in common with her anymore and I realized that if I told her she wouldn't understand. I was confused, I don't even have clear memories of that night, everything is blurry on my mind. I don't know how it happened… For a while I felt I had to compensate her for all she went through but then I thought it would be so unfair for you and me and what were about to start..., it's the worst thing I've done in my life. I have no excuse and I know that saying sorry won't mean anything now.

He felt so guilty that he wasn't able to tell her about the feelings he had of being completely out of control that night.

-I'd like things had happened differently. - Catherine added looking so sad that he felt she was going to cry, but she didn't - We're adults, aren't we? And you don't have to give me an explanation, you are free, you go to bed with whoever you want. – her tone was now as cold as ice.

Vincent was almost beaten by her pain, her trembling voice and the tears that didn't want to run down her face but kept waiting on her lashes. She was lying, she was just trying to look strong and distant but he was feeling her heartbeat and her sorrow.

-I'm so sorry… If I could go back in time I'd stay here with you. I know I've failed you and I've betrayed your feelings for me. I'm not even going to ask you to forgive me, I just thought you should know.

-Vincent – she managed to say – I have to heal my heart and my mind and this won't be possible with you around. I don't want to say something I will regret. Please, go – she added bitterly.

If he had to describe the expression of her lovely face, he would say she looked totally hopeless, beyond angry or deceived. When he went out through the window, Catherine let her tears run her face quietly. She cleaned her face with the back of her hand and got ready for work.

Her first day was too quiet. All her partners clapped when she entered the office, which almost made her cry again. Joe didn't want to send her out till he was sure she was completely Ok. Tess was happy to have her friend back at work. Evan came to see them both when he was told that Catherine was already in the precint.

-How's my beautiful girl doing? – He asked holding Catherine into his arms.

-I'm Ok, Evan. Thank you. I just thought I would be in the streets and not here changing documents from one desk to another. - She complained. Evan look at her straight into her eyes, as if trying to find out if everything was really Ok. – Oh, just stop doing this you all! I'm Ok. Doctors say it.

-Sorry, Cat. I just wanted to make sure. Are you feeling good?

-I told you, Evan. I'm Ok. Everything's over.

-Then Joe will send you to your usual stuff soon. Don't worry. – He said before going back to his work.

-He was really scared for you all this time, Cat. Don't be too hard.

-I know, Tess, but I'm not a small girl, I don't want to be pitied anymore. I'm Ok and I want to feel I've gone back to normal.

-Take it easy. You will.

She knew the first day would be the worst, at least until all her partners were finally convinced that he had fully recovered.

Vincent came into Alex's car. They had arranged to meet to talk about their relationship as Alex wouldn't stop texting and phoning him. He knew this had to end now. She smiled at him and kissed him on his lips. This time he pushed her away politely.

-No, Alex…We have to talk. We can't go on with this.

Alex froze on her seat. What was he talking about? They had been together since they were children, they had always been in love, this was how everything was supposed to be, they were finally together forever. A doubt crossed her mind: Was he aware of what she did in the cabin? How could he possibly...?


	6. Of men and beasts

**I'd like to thank all of you for following the story and for your helpful comments. I'm sorry I've just figured out I can do this from here There are lots of things I have to learn from this site. I'm enjoying lots of stories too. Thank you so much. Miriam.**

She was looking at him with incredulous eyes.

-What happened? I mean, I thought we were together in this.

-Alex, I don't want to hurt you or to make you feel I used you. I guess I got caught by all our past for a while, I don't know how I let myself go that way…But I don't want to go on.

-It's Catherine, isn't it? – She finally had the courage to say. Vincent's gaze was all she needed to know that she was right, that he was in love with the petite detective. – I knew it. The way you behave in front of her, as if you owed her an explanation…

-There's no chance of anything happening between Catherine and me. I told her about our…well, about that night in the cabin. She was so broken... She'll never forgive me.

-Then what's the problem? We can go on with our dreams. We can live the life we always planned.

-Alex, I'm not in love with you. I shouldn't have lost control the way I did and I'm so sorry, but I'm in love with Catherine. And there are so many things you don't yet know about me.

-I don't need to know anything. – She added nervously, gently caressing the scar on his face – I just want you in my life, Vincent.

-I'm a danger to you and to all the people around me. It's better if you just go… It's better if you don't know…

Vincent kissed his ex-fiancé on the cheek and added:

-Go on with your life, Alex. Don't come back to me or you'll be in big trouble.

He left the car while Alex followed him with her eyes. She won't lose him again, she'd rather be dead than living again without the person that makes you feel part of something big. Her last years had been spent between her work at the hospital and the clandestine clinic, not even being able to date anyone because she had never stopped loving her dead love. Catherine was to blame. If she got rid of her, she would recover her man. She started the car and headed towards Catherine's apartment.

Once there, she knocked at her door and the detective opened it in her pajamas. She was astonished to see Alex here:

-What are you doing here? – She asked.

-Sorry if it's too late, Catherine. I have to talk to you. Can I come in?

Alex looked so worried that Catherine started to fear that something terrible had happened to Vincent:

-Is Vincent Ok?

-Yes. It's just I have something to tell you.

When Catherine closed the door and gave her back to Alex, the nurse stabbed her with a syringe on her neck. She fell onto the floor. Alex thanked God for the light weight of the detective, otherwise she couldn't have managed her body to a chair to tie her. She stood there in front of Catherine waiting for her to wake up. The dose she had given to her would only last five or ten minutes. In the meantime she was just thinking what she was going to do next. She hadn't anticipated anything, she just prepared the sedatives and her gun and she was now getting terribly anxious at the possibility of Catherine's waking up. What would she do? Would she have the strength to do what she really wanted to: to get rid of her forever. Catherine started to cough and tried to move on the chair. She opened her eyes and lifted her head towards Alex.

-Alex, what are you doing? – She said trying to remain calm.

-The only thing standing between Vincent and me is you. I can't lose him again. – She said with an empty look in her eyes.

-You're wrong, Alex. Vincent is just a friend. He doesn't love me.

-Oh, shut up! You're so dumb! He loves you. He has just told me. He doesn't want to start a new life with me anymore.

Catherine was shocked to hear that. She was trying to free her hands from her own handcuffs but she knew it was impossible. Her legs were also tied with some ropes and she couldn't move.

-Alex, please, don't do this. Vincent is not the man you knew anymore. He's suffered a lot but he still loves you, he proved it in the cabin.

A bitter gesture appeared on Alex's face. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry and she finally concluded that if Catherine was going to die at least she deserved the truth. She finally muttered:

-It was not on his own volition.

Catherine tried to guess what the red-haired woman was implying. She looked at her in the eye and simply repeated:

-Not in his own volition? What do you mean?

-I put something in his water. First I tried to cheer him up with some champagne but it turns out he doesn't drink anymore. Then I used a pill I got from a dealer who came to the clinic one night. I got it out of curiosity, I never thought I would need it, until that very moment when I realized I had to do something to make Vincent surrender to me. The thing is...all the time he thought he was with you...He didn't stop calling your name... It was not so funny as I had planned.

Catherine opened her eyes as wide as she could before asking:

-Are you conscious of what you've done to someone you supposedly love? Do you even know how lucky you are? If it had affected Vincent in a different way he would have… - she wasn't able to go on, but she was thinking that if Vincent hadn't assimilated the drug as he was supposed to, he could have changed into the Beast, he could have even kill Alex. For the first time she felt as if she had left a child in the wrong hands. But how could she have imagined that the nurse would go that far?

-Ok? Listen to me. You kill me and then what? What are you going to do with my body? – Catherine thought she knew that woman at least to know that she was acting out of pain and disappointment and she hadn't arranged anything. – Do you think you will simply go on with your life? Do you really think my partners won't find you? And Vincent, what are you going to tell him?

Alex was trembling, her hands a bundle or broken nerves. She put the gun up and closed her eyes not being able to face what she was about to do. Suddenly thousands of glasses invaded the living room followed by such a horrible figure half-man half-monster that the nurse just froze. She couldn't think, and she didn't really believe her eyes. What was happening? Who or what was this… monster?

As she saw Vincent breaking into her living room and going towards Alex, Catherine began to speak firmly but calm:

-Vincent, Vincent! I'm here! I'm Ok! Come here, please! – She was trying to stay calm but she knew what he was able to do in this state. He looked at her doubtfully but came back again to walk towards Alex growling and panting. She was simply standing there unable to move and looking at him horrified.

-Vincent, please! – Catherine screamed – Come here, please. Everything is Ok. She's Alex, you know it. She isn't going to hurt me. – As she saw how Vincent turned around again to face her, she begged him – Come and help me with the handcuffs, please. I'm Ok, she didn't hurt me.

Vincent stood for a while in front of Catherine while Alex watched the scene in horror. She thought that monster would kill the detective until she saw his face changing. He knelt down and looked at Catherine who was imploring with her gaze. Vincent the man came back. Catherine sighed in relieve. He stood up and took Catherine's keys from the first drawer to set her free. Alex couldn't speak, she just muttered:

-You… tamed…it.

Vincent took the gun from her hand looking at her with infinite compassion.

-It's Vincent, Alex. – Catherine said. – It's not "it"

-What is…he? – She asked with the same astonished expression and still unable to move.

-When I joined the military – Vincent started – I volunteered for some experiments to create better soldiers, faster and stronger. But everything went wrong and what you've just seen is all I got from them.

-Alex – Catherine said – Now that you know that much, there's a lot more you have to learn. We need to talk.


	7. Words unsaid

**Words unsaid**

Catherine sat on the couch next to Alex, who was trying to relax herself and couldn't stop looking at Vincent in astonishment. The detective tried to make eye contact so that the other woman could focus on the things they were going to tell her. Vincent, seeing that his ex-fiancé was almost in shock, started to speak:

-When I told you I'm not the man you knew anymore I meant it. I joined the military after my brothers died and I was part of an experiment to change our DNAs. They were trying to create soldiers with super powers but everything went wrong and they decided to kill us all.

Alex looked at Catherine:

-How do you…? – She didn't know what to say. She wanted to know how they met, how she was able to do what she'd just done with him, how he trusted her so much, but words couldn't manage from her brain to her mouth. Her head was a mess or images from the past and the present, from the night at the cabin and the events of this night. She saw her Vincent, her handsome young doctor ten years ago, and she looked at the man sitting here opposite her…How could they be the same?

-My mother was involved in the experiments. The same people who did this to Vincent killed my mum, and if he hadn't saved me that night they would have killed me too. Alex, he is the same person you knew…

-No, he isn't… - the red-haired finally said – He was so innocent, so sure of himself, so tender… he had nothing to do with the … with what…I've seen.

Vincent looked down completely ashamed. He knew what she was thinking. He didn't say anything because he was sure that Alex was right. That was just what he was, some sort of animal with a killing instinct that he wasn't able to manage. But Catherine wouldn't let her go on:

-He is still that innocent and tender man, and you know that better than anyone.

Vincent raised his head feeling the pulse racing in Catherine's veins. What happened? Why was she getting that nervous? He looked at Alex looking for an answer, and she finally admitted:

-I drugged you, Vincent. That night at the cabin I gave something I got from a dealer.

He couldn't believe his ears, his eyes wide open and his voice trembling:

-But… I trusted you…I thought you wanted to talk about me, about where I had been all these years…

-I'm sorry, Vincent. I was so happy when I found out that you were alive that I couldn't afford losing you again. It was so clear to me that you didn't love me anymore, that you had given your heart, all of you, to another person…

Vincent looked at Catherine who wasn't able to speak. It was not her business. It was not her choice. It was Alex the one who had to face what she had done. Then, as if finally realizing the extent to which she had put herself in danger by giving Vincent that drug, she started to cry uncontrollably:

-Oh, my God! You could have killed me! – She almost shouted.

-Alex, he was not totally conscious of his acts. If he had hurt you it would have been your fault and no one else's.

-He was conscious tonight, wasn't he? And he almost killed me! – She looked again at Vincent with disgust.

-You wanted to kill Catherine! I will never let anyone hurt her! I've protecting her for ten years and I swear I'll die before anyone hurts her.

He didn't think the words coming out from his mouth, it was the real, pure truth. Catherine looked at him and her eyes told what her lips couldn't.

And finally Alex understood that whoever this man was, he was not the one she loved or the one she wanted to be with. She had been on the edge of starting a life with what? A monster? A beast? Of course she didn't say what she was thinking. She stood up and said:

-What now? Am I under arrest?

Catherine looked at her:

-No, you are not. I just wanted to warn you. You have to leave the city and never tell anyone what you've seen tonight. – And suspecting that the red-haired woman would me more concerned with her own safety than with Vincent's, she added – No just because of us but because of you. The ones who did this to him don't like lose ends, so…

She didn't have to go on as the other woman's eyes told it all. She wouldn't say anything and of course she would leave the city. She was smart enough to foresee the consequences if she told about what she had just found out. Vincent could just think that this woman, the one he once loved to the point of wanting her to be his wife, had drugged him and used him, and took advantage of his trust. However, he could forgive anything if it was for good. He could imagine how she had felt all these years, unable to move on, he could imagine what had been like for her to have a second chance with the one she loved. Yes. He could imagine and he could forgive. Could Catherine forgive him? Could Catherine understand that all he wanted was a second chance for a normal life? He just wanted to be what he liked most, a doctor, to help people, to feel useful again. And this woman offered him the opportunity to become a person again. How could he explain Catherine that the moment he entered the cabin he knew it had been a huge mistake? Even more, the moment he was alone with Alex in the woods he found out they had nothing in common apart from the past. Could Catherine understand that he felt so free and unleashed, so weak and so strong at the same time suddenly in the cabin, when she offered to him and he saw Catherine in her body, when the beast didn't come out, and that he couldn't understand why he simply let himself go. And that when he fell down from his high he felt so dirty and unworthy that all he wanted was to run away from there? Could Catherine understand that when he came back home and JT told him about her disappearing he knew that this was his deserved punishment? He thought he deserved even worst, not to find her, ever, or to find her death, like she almost was that night on the road…From the moment he found her there to the moment he noticed her weak breathing only a couple of seconds had passed, and he'd rather be dead than feel this lost again.

Alex left Catherine's apartment and Vincent offered to spend the night with her. At the beginning she refused, but she felt so tired and she had been so scared about the events of the night that she finally agreed. They cleaned all the mess in the dining-room and covered the window with some plastic bags.


	8. A treason to love

Catherine was exhausted and she told Vincent that he could sleep on the couch or use Heather's bedroom. Vincent was so tired that a short while after she had retired to her bedroom, he fell asleep. However, Catherine couldn't. She was in her bed turning and tossing, embracing her pillow totally unable to stop thinking about the man in his living room. She was relieved by the fact that Alex had had to drug him to bring him to her lure, but sex was no what mattered. Sex is sometimes an excuse, a relief, a fun, something you just get involved in and it just happens. Most of the times it had no consequences, she knew that because it was what she liked most of the kind of relationships she had held up to that moment. Some drinks, some chatting, some jokes and you find yourself in your bed or in someone else's just enjoying the moment. The hard thing was the morning after when she picked up her clothes before the boy by her side could notice, or when she woke up in her bed alone again only warmed by her covers. Sex is just something that happens sometimes. Her pain came from the feeling of having allowed herself surrender to finally loving someone after so long and having been mocked. Her pain came from her broken heart and from her mind showing her images of an almost hypnotized Vincent just letting himself being managed by his ex-fiancé. The moment she appeared he stopped being the usual shy guy who would always hide from the rest of the world and one of the things it hurt her most was how he smiled and laughed again. The effect that woman had had on him was the effect she has always wanted to provoke in him: to make him return to life and smile and laugh and joke and take risks because of her, and wanting nothing else than being with her. A tear was finally brave enough to leave her eyes, a door she should never have opened because her crying became deeper, and she let herself being drown by the flood coming from them, sobbing and shaking hiding her face in her pillow. She would have to face the fact that she would never be that kind of magic to him. She had been lying to herself all this time not wanting to listen to her mind telling her that Vincent was around her only because there was no one else apart from JT to be around. He had saved many lives, not only hers, and their relationship developed from the fact that she had always looked for him with the excuse of her cases when the fact was that she almost literally died to see his face and hear his purring voice one more time. And she cried and cried for being the most stupid woman in the world.

In the living room, Vincent suddenly woke up at the noise of something he couldn't still identify. He opened his eyes and focused for a while. It came from Catherine's bedroom. What was happening in there? He got up from the couch and raced to her door not even knocking before coming inside to surprise her in bitter tears, her hair a mess, her eyes surrounded by the black shadow of the mask she had put that morning, and her lips swollen and almost burning. He rushed to her:

-Catherine! What's going on? Are you all right? – He was so scared. He had never seen her cry so he thought something terrible may have happened to her to be in such a state.

-Oh, God, Vincent! Don't you know how to knock a door? – She said cleaning her face with the back of her hands while sitting on the bed still sobbing. By now, he had knelt down on one side of the bed and was looking at her terrified.

-I'm… sorry… I thought you might be in danger…What's wrong, Catherine? – He begged her. He wanted to hold her, to soothe her but he wouldn't have dared touch her, angels are not made to be touched by monsters.

-I'm Ok, Vincent. It's just…I'm so tired…

-Can't you sleep? Do you want me to stay here with you until you fall asleep?

-No, Vincent, not that kind of tiring. You know, I was just thinking the many times I have been looking forward to someone like you appearing in my life – She acknowledged – Someone strong but kind, humble but determined… the kind of man a woman can fall in love with…And when it finally happens, well…never mind…

-It does mind…to me – He said – I know I shouldn't have gone to the cabin with Alex. She wouldn't have had the chance to drug me and well...

-I wasn't talking about that… The moment she appeared in your life, you changed so much…you felt…happy. I could see how you looked at her in amazement, as if she was some kind of supernatural being… It's Ok, Vincent, I get it. You and I…it was simply because there was no one else…

-Don't say that, please. I know I've been an ass from the beginning…but you know, I've never been that next to someone from my past, and she made me feel like I could run away from everything and start again, be a person again, a man, a doctor…I know now that I got caught in a fantasy. When she told me she would leave everything behind to leave with me…

-She didn't know the whole truth, that's why she risked herself – Catherine said in anger.

-I know, and I didn't tell her because unconsciously I knew that she would go. She is not as strong as you. But believe me, Catherine, the moment I stepped into that cabin I felt like a mouse in a trap and if I had followed my instinct I would have run.

-Vincent… I let myself have these feelings for you, I trust you with my heart and my soul… I don't want to feel this pain again. I have to heal my heart and to protect myself.

-I know that saying sorry is not enough, in fact, I think there's not much I can do to make you feel better – He extended his arm to touch her but he stopped himself – It won't happen again. I promise you…

-No, it won't happen because we will stop this here. I want you to go, Vincent. I hate feeling this way, I haven't felt so hurt ever since my mum died. I'm sorry but I think that the best thing is if we don't see each other again.

Vincent froze. He couldn't say anything, he couldn't move…So was this the last time he would be looking at her lovely face? Even after so much crying, after so much pain, she was the most beautiful woman in the world, and she was confessing she loved him, she had gone to the warehouse that night before he went with Alex to tell him that she was going to fight for what they were about to start… and he simply went away.

-Catherine, please… - His heart wanted to break his chest.

She didn't let him go on:

-I'll be fine… and you will find that unique woman who can bring you back to life again… I forgive you, I'm not angry at you anymore, but I don't trust you and it just…won't work…

He stood up and looked at her hardly believing that this was it, that all they had shared for months had just ended here and now. He had betrayed the only woman who had accepted him for all he was and he knew that there was nothing he could do to mend it. When he finally reached the door of Catherine's room, he looked back at her and said:

-I'll be always there… if you need me.

But she didn't answer. She just saw him disappear from her life almost like he had appeared some months ago.

Catherine hid her face on her pillow but she couldn't cry anymore. She just fell asleep thinking how will she able to start again without Vincent in her life.


	9. Heart fights mind

**HEART FIGHTS MIND**

Two weeks had passed since that night when Vincent and Catherine talked for the very last time. Fourteen days of nightmare worse than everything that had happened to her before. She was trying to go on with her newly recovered life. She went to work every day absolutely happy of this new opportunity life had offered to her. However, her happiness faded as soon as she remembered Vincent. In fact, if it hadn't been for him, she wouldn't have had this second chance. Somehow he felt that something terrible was happening to her and he came to save her as he had always done since they first met. Her mind had lied to her telling that life would be a lot easier without him by her side, making her feel strong enough to cope with his absence, allowing her to feel that life would be another thing than feeling miserable for that fake freedom she had got. She was not free at all. She'd never be. She was in love with the most difficult man a woman can find in her way: a beautiful man inside and outside, someone who is so committed with doing things right and trying to make others have what they want that he would lose his own chances for happiness in the way.

Heather knew that something was wrong with her sister. She knew how brave she had been all her life and that's why she thought that there should be something else behind her sleepless nights watching TV in the living room, behind the brown shadows under her eyes and the total absence of her lovely smile. She was getting really worried now as her sister didn't want to eat and was losing weight. She didn't want to go out either and when she faced her with her actual state, she simply would go to her room.

Tess and Evan had also noticed the changes in her and they were concerned that it was because of her kidnapping and torturing. They didn't know anything else. Evan had tried to take her out on many occasions but she never accepted. She liked him a lot but she knew he was a player and not the kind of man she would fall in love with…And here she goes again…because her heart knew what her logical mind wanted to hide from her: That she would never ever love anyone else because she loved Vincent and once you find out what real, unselfish, true love is, you will never accept anything else.

That Sunday morning was the first one that Heather convinced Catherine to go out for a walk and feel the sun on her pale face.

-Please, sis. If you don't want to do it for yourself, just do it for me. I'm so worried about you. Whatever is keeping you in this state you have to move on. You have to take care of yourself. Let me help you, Cat.

Catherine knew she had no choice if she wanted to get rid of her sister today.

-Ok, Heath, but I don't promise I won't be back soon. I don't feel like being out.

Her sister clapped happily. It was a start. May be it was just going for a walk today, but who knows? Perhaps she could take her out for dinner some other day…

She was walking with her earphones on so she couldn't notice someone approaching her. When he finally touched her arm she almost fell to the floor.

-JT! – She screamed when she saw him – You scared me!

-Sorry I didn't mean to…

-What are you doing here? Is Vincent all right? – She surprised herself when the second question left her lips. She thought she would never be worried about him anymore.

-It depends.

-Depends on what? – She asked.

-On your notion of "being all right". If you mean if he is still breathing, well, he is.

She had to admit that she had missed that man a lot. He started walking by her side determined to say what he had come to say.

-Listen, Catherine. I'm not here to trying to convince you to do what you don't want to, but there are things I have to say.

-JT… it's over. I can't…

-Yes. He told me. You can't go on with whatever you were trying to be engaged in because you don't trust him. Now my question is: How many things did he do for you before that "horrible moment" when he broke your trust? Think about it.

JT simply went on walking by her side while she was thinking about Vincent saving her that night when her mum was killed, then in the tunnels, then in her car crash and the last time when he found her on the road after the Muirfield incident. She remembered the moment he saved Evan in the underground because she didn't use the tranq gun with him… and the high price he paid after that night when he put himself into that cage to protect the world from him. Images were flooding her mind when JT suddenly stopped:

-I'm not saying you have to forget everything but I'm living now with some kind of ghost who doesn't eat, speak or sleep anymore, who spends his time looking through a window for your car to turn around the corner.

-He hasn't come to me after we…

-You told him not to!

-And that's all it takes? – She asked looking at him in anger.

-Yes! You know him! He went with Alex because you didn't say he shouldn't…

-It was not my choice!

-A man who's been in hiding for almost ten years is not a good one to take these decisions. I'm not justifying what he did. You have the right to feel he cheated on you. But I swear I've shared with him the worst moments of his life and I hadn't seen him like this since he lost his brothers. He can't find a reason to do anything…he's letting himself die…Just…talk to him.

-I don't think I can, JT. I'm shattered.

-So is he. Do you even know how many times I've had to tell him that his dreams of becoming normal again had gone to hell? And I saw him fall into the deepest hole you can dig on the ground. And he always came back. I don't think he will this time unless you talk to him.

She would have said a lot more if JT hadn't simply turned around the corner and disappeared.

"Talk to him? What would I say? Ok, Vincent. I trust you again. Let's go on where we left it. I simply cannot." The truth was that JT had been the push she needed to at least start thinking about this possibility. Could they start again? Could she trust him again? How long would it take till he left her because of another girl? Would she be able to cope with this again? And the only thing she could answer to all these questions was that no one knew. It would be so simple if one just knew what would happen, what would be the next safe step…And she suddenly felt the need to do what she had wanted to through all these days, talk to him again.

When she left her car at a right distance from the warehouse, she started to walk to it. She didn't know what she was going to say or do, but one thing she knew, if it wasn't today, it would never be.

Vincent was looking through the window when he saw her tiny figure and looked again thinking he was dreaming. No, he wasn't. It was Catherine! He couldn't think of a reason for her to be here but seeing him. His heart began to beat to the rhythm of Catherine's, which almost stopped when she finally get into the room where Vincent was. He turned around not knowing what to say and she simply said:

-Hi. How are you? – Her eyes were stuck to the floor while she was waiting for an answer.

-I'm Ok. And you? – He came closer. His eyes were showing a mixture of surprise, fear and pain that made Catherine's heart race again and his with it. She looked at him and saw the effects of the long days of mourning what they had shared. He was thinner and looked sadder. He came towards her not being able to get too near.

-I thought I'd never see you again – He finally managed to say.

-Vincent… All I have gone through last month… it's been so painful and unknown that I don't know what to do or how to get rid of this weight I feel inside.

Her voice was trembling. For the first time in all these days she wasn't angry at him, she just didn't know how to feel. She didn't want to be taken by a fool but she had also reflected upon everything and thought that they could start again. But she didn't know how to say it.

-I'm sorry Catherine. Hurting you is the worst thing I've done in my life but there's something I know: I've paid for it. Feeling that I wasn't going to be with you, talk to you or feel your caresses anymore has been more than enough. I won't ask you to forgive me, I know I don't dese…

She cut him before he could finish what he was about to say:

-The truth is, Vincent, that I've already forgiven you.

He looked into her eyes and saw them bright full of tears. He didn't think about anything else but cleaning the first ones coming out cupping her face and caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. He was now crying too, his forehead against hers.

-I don't deserve it.

-I don't know who deserves what. I just know I had to see you again, to be with you and find out what is the wisest thing to do.

She was cleaning his tears with her fingers too.

-And…and what is it?

-I don't know. I…love you… and I will never know what would have happened if I don't let it happen.

-Did you just say…? – He couldn't believe his ears. That woman he had hurt so much had just said that she loved him. He thought his heart would never stop beating if it hadn't stopped by now.

-I love you, Vincent Keller, all of you. My mind tells me to protect myself from these feelings, to hide myself in a shell so that you can't hurt me anymore, but my heart says that you…we…can do things better if we finally accept what we are for each other.

This time she raised her head and stood on the tips of her feet to be close to his lips and finally kissed him with all her anger, pain and love, as if telling him: "Don't do that again". He lost himself in this kiss and in the feeling of her fingers on the back of his head. He surrounded her waist with his arms so that he won't lose her again. Then he looked up and said:

-I'm so in love with you.

**P. S: Sorry, guys, but I wouldn't change those words for the world. Thank you for all your nice comments. I'm really enjoying the experience and I'm reading lots of your fanfics. Do you want one more chapter with my take on how they first made love or are you too in love with the one you watched on TV to allow me to try something different? Let me know. Thank you again.**


	10. In the wings of an angel

The weak sun that during the whole morning had been menacing with hiding finally disappeared under the dark grey clouds. First there were just some of those heavy and slow drops announcing the storm, until it rained and finally poured. The sound of the rain on the metal roof of the warehouse was all the music they could have heard if they had actually paid attention to it. But they were too lost in each other to notice anything apart from their bodies and their sensations. Vincent was slowly kissing Catherine's ear lobes while smoothly caressing her body from her neck to her waist. He had completely surrendered to her touch and her scent, inhaling her as if she were a drug he'd been deprived of for a long time. He carefully took off her t-shirt and went on kissing her bare chest till he got to her bra and took it off too. He couldn't stop looking at those two perfectly shaped breasts being given to him like an offer to an unknown god. Catherine moaned at the touch of his hands on them, first touching, then stroking and finally caressing them with his thumbs ever so softly as if he didn't want to break the most valuable thing in the world. She took his t-shirt off too and kissed him everywhere, leaving feather kisses from his neck to his chest while gently stroking his strong arms and looking for his open mouth. No permission was asked to invade their mouths with each other's tongues which unleashed and fought against white teeth in such a way that they had to separate for a while to get some air.

-You are the most beautiful woman in the world. I love you Catherine – he whispered.

-I love you too – was all she could say before losing herself again in his mouth.

She went downwards to his pants and unzipped them finally being able to reach his length which had reacted extraordinarily to her touch. She noticed her own wetness while she pulled down his boxers and jeans and held his length into her hands stroking and moving upwards and downwards till she could hear him moan in pleasure. She pushed him onto the bed and covered his body with hers. Vincent could hardly breathe and she looked into his eyes now flashing amber and put her index finger on his lips:

-Ssssssh…Calm down, Vincent, it's me. Everything will be all right.

Vincent wen on caressing her body till his hands finally reached her ass and she moaned louder under his pressure. He pulled down her trousers and pants which went to the floor with a quick movement from her and cupped her down while introducing two fingers inside her.

-Oh, Jesus, are you wet! – He couldn't help exclaim.

-It's just because of you. – She whispered to his ear while biting it softly.

She moved her hips to the rhythm he marked with his fingers and he growled at the sight of the effect his touch had on her. Catherine opened her eyes and saw his face changing, his skin became a bit rougher, his factions a bit stronger while his veins became blue and his eyes turned bright yellow. He couldn't handle in front of her. He didn't want her to see him like this but he couldn't hold the beast back completely.

-Don't fight, Vincent. Let him be free – She almost panted – Let him be here with me.

But he was not in control so he returned to his human shape. Vincent turned her on her back and started to kiss her everywhere, his pleasure so deep that he could barely breathe. Catherine responded by licking his pulse in her neck going downwards with her tongue through his arms. He looked at her now with amber eyes with a silent question in them…as if shyly asking for her permission and as a response she pressed her ass and guided his sharp to her insides, almost screaming when he entered her. He gasped for air:

-On, my God. Catherine…this feels so good, it's so warm… It's like going back where I belong.

-It's just it. You're mine and you know it.

He started to thrust slowly against her rocking them both in an endless embrace as if to the rhythm of a music only they could hear. She felt him change again and it made her even wetter…feeling him getting even bigger and harder inside and she couldn't help screaming his name:

-Oh, God, Vincent!

He opened his eyes to look at her worried in case he had hurt her:

-Are you Ok, babe? – He growled breathing heavily while looking at her with his amber eyes and his almost full beastly shape giving way to his human one:

-Ok is not exactly the word…Don't stop, please! I could have never imagined…

And she started to move faster against his body, raising her hips to feel him closer, making him enter her even deeper. They felt they were just one body and one soul, both of their hearts beating at the same pace. While he was thrusting he managed to caress her bundle of nerves with his thumb wildly drawing circles and making her ask for more. The feeling of being human and beast almost at the same time, his animal side appearing and disappearing without his control gave him a strange pleasure he hadn't felt before…neither did her. Catherine panted and moaned at his movements, holding his sweating arms and caressing his swollen veins:

-Vincent, I can't stand it… I'm going to…Oooooh, Gooood!

-Come, babe, come for me. –He almost cried unable to control himself and letting him go with her in an exhausting climax that made them shake wave after wave of joint pleasure while they cried their names. She felt his warm liquid pouring inside her and looked at him amazed at the strong figure half animal half man shaking against her. Vincent had no choice but to collapse over Catherine's body trying not to hurt her with his weight. He finally felt his beast leaving him completely and hid his face in the crook of her neck while she was still surrounding his back with her arms. From the best place of earth he was now in, he heard the noise he was most afraid of in the world: Catherine was crying. He supported himself on his elbows to look at her and see what happened.

-Catherine! Did I hurt you? Did I do something you didn't want? – He asked his heart almost stopping as he waited for her answer.

-No…No…my love. It's just this is the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me…Thank you. – She said while caressing the scar on his face allowing her tears follow their own path to the pillow.

-For what? – He asked in astonishment.

-For sharing all of you with me, for being with me just as you are.

-You're amazing, Catherine. You're being grateful when it's me who has received the most perfect present…your love, your innocence, your pain… I love you so much. It's the first time I make love since I am…you know…this, because you only make love with the person you are in love with…Catherine, I don't deserve someone like you.

-Stop saying that right now if you don't want an angry girlfriend in your bed. – She joked.

He cleaned her tears with the back of his hand and held her so tight he was afraid of hurting her. She couldn't help crying.

-No, Catherine! I don't want you to cry…Let me be with you forever and I'll make life happen around you so warmly, lazily and cozily that you will feel as if wrapped in the wings of an angel.

They laid there listening to the sound of raindrops on the rooftop and their own heartbeats for what could have been minutes or hours, rejoicing in each other's skin and warmth. Vincent had passed his arm under Catherine's neck and half of her was almost over him while she gently caressed the scar on his face. She noticed three red marks on each of Vincent's shoulders and touched them curiously:

-Oh, my God! – She laughed – I can't believe I do this. Let me see your back, please.

Vincent showed her his back and she could see three more red marks from his back to his waist.

-What? – He asked smiling.

-I don't know who the beast here is, honey! I've left you red marks everywhere…

-Mmmmmmm! I like it. Can I get some more, please? I've been bad, you know…

And he started to kiss her again until she couldn't handle herself… And it was pouring outside the sky dark grey and lightning invading their bed from time to time, but it felt so warm and cozy in that bed that they'd love to spend their lives in there forever.

**THE END.**

**P.S. What do you think? Is it a good ending or would you change anything? Thank you for being so kind following my story and writing so many reviews. I am exhausted! Writing in a foreign language is not an easy task! I couldn't have done it without your help and encouragement. I'll enjoy yours from now on till I feel inspired again. Thank you so much.**


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